Elsword and Co in: Married Life Terrors
by Rosepoison
Summary: El has FINALLY proposed to Aisha. It took him a while, and he got more than a few bumps and bruises along the way, but he did it. Now we've got another problem on our hands: Do both of them have the guts to say "I do"? We can only hope. ElswordxAisha, ChungxEve, rated over K for safety.
1. Pre-Wedding Jitters

**I'm sure I've said this at least fifty times before, but whatever: I do not own Elsword or any of its corresponding characters in any way, shape, or form. **

**Note: This was actually never supposed to be mentioned, but due to someone asking (very nicely) for there basically to be a sequel to the sequel, I'll be making a story out of Aisha and El's marrried life. LET THE CHAOS COMMENSE! **

**Note Part 2: Thank you Tsurara-Oikawa Chan, Orithia WindBell, and Rinkushido for keeping up my moral and giving me some ideas. Both of which I'm usually lacking miserably. **

**. . .**

"Do I look okay in this suit?! Too fat?! Skinny?! Should I switch the red rose with a white one?! It look like a bit too much red with the tie, doesn't it?! SOMEONE CALL THE FLORIST! Gah, and my HAIR! Had to be a cheapskate and cop out on a haircut, didn't I?! Probably look like I'm trying to impersonate my sister!"

Elsword runs around like a phoru on caffeine. He's been worrying about every single detail of his appearance since 5 o'clock in the morning. Frankly?  
Raven.  
Is.  
Sick of it.

**_POW!_**

The Veteran Commander slams a random frying pan into El's head. His desired effect is achieved as Elsword slumps to the floor, stars circling his head. Chung, about to do the same thing with the butt end of his canon, gives Raven a thumbs up and a frustrated sigh. This is gonna be a long wedding.

**. . .**

Rena and Eve are having even less fun while dealing with Aisha. (In all honesty, they'd try to knock her out long ago, but the girl was simply too fast, even while she ain't trying.)

"I should have gone with sleeves, shouldn't I? You can see so much of me in this . . . and I don't have anything to show!"

"You look fine, sweetie. Your shoulders are your best part, and the dress does _not _have a plunging neckline. You look perfectly respectable."

"Ya mean I look like a college prof in a sparkly nightgown! How the heck should I know if it has a low neckline or not, anyways? It's impossible to tell! One look at me in this getup and Elsword'll practically **_teleport_** to get away from me!

"Please, be serious, Aisha. For one thing El wouldn't dare-"

"Ah, ha! There's another reason for him to leave me in the dirt! Who in his right mind would marry some psycho babe like me?! Elsword may be stupid sometimes, but he ain't crazy!"

"Aish-"

**_"WHAT?!"_**

"You're getting kinda loud . . ."

The Elemental Master lets out tired grunt, flops on a nearby chair, and looks like she's going to burst into tears.

**. . .**

Some hours of animal-like screeching and otherwise wild panic later, Elsword is wide awake and sweating at the alter. He's second-guessed himself to the moon and back again today, and is currently going for another round-trip.

_ Why the heck would Aisha want to marry me? I'm no living brain like she is. My specialty is a slice 'n dice with a side order of magic. I'm just some kind of freaky combo of swordsman and a mage! I can smell it. When she comes walking down that isle, she'll give me a second look, come back to her senses, __**run**_.

Our favorite Rune Slayer isn't the only one in pre-marital panic mode.

_I'm not gorgeous like Rena and Eve. I never got out of the kid stage, mentally or physically. I'm impetuous, selfish, and a total redneck. Elsword's _actually _grown over the years. Not only gotten cuter, even to downright handsome, but he's a lot harder to rile up as well. And his powers . . . wow . . . being an A-class Rune Slayer is pretty darn impressive. But an Elemental Mage? They're a dime a dozen. _

The two lock eyes while Chung tries to remember he piano lessons from way back when. 'Here Comes the Bride' is sounding a bit mangled, but the couple obviously doesn't care. Aisha looks like an angel to Elsword, and Elsword looks like a prince to Aisha. These observations only serve to deepen their depression.

**. . .**

When the pastor come to the "do you take this girl to be your lawful wedded wife" part, Elsword feels like he's going to faint. Raven's word of warning come flooding back to him: _You could have a mate _(did he **_have _**to put it that way?!) _for life, or, if it ends badly, and Elemental Master out for your head. _

El zones out for a couple seconds, his eyes going glassy. No one makes a move as the crowd draws in a collective breath.

"I-I . . . I . . ." _suck it up and say it, you blasted coward._

"I . . . I do."

Still no one bats an eyelash. If anything, the crowd lets out an internal groan. The bride still has to answer, now doesn't she?

Aisha looks sheepish for a second. She looks at her friends and enemies a like. (Banthus and William showed up uninvited saying they'd done more than anyone to help level up El and Aisha.) She now studies Elsword's face. A thin sheen of sweat glistens in the sunlight, his jaw is tight, and his eyes are blood shot.

_He, the kid who's faced countless monsters, survived on his own, and even survived ME, is nervous?_ She stifles a giggle, making her final decision in a split second.

"I do."

And the crowd goes wild.

** . . .**

No, really, I'm not kidding. They scream, throw mounds of confetti in the air, and otherwise make enough of a ruckus to wake the dead! The pastor, on the hand, looks down right insulted.

"Could we all please save the celebrating until **_after_** I'm done?" his words drip more poison than an infected rat. The crowd's celebrating comes to a halt, and the confetti proceeds to defy gravity by seeming to pause in the air. Everyone sits back in their respective chair as if nothing had happened, and the wedding continues undeterred.

We can only hope that this land, and its inhabitance, can survive such a marriage. Let alone the _kids _it's going to produce . . .


	2. Post-Ceremonial Catastrophe

**The idea for the basic plotline of this story suggested by Rinkushido, I hope I can fit in as much mayhem as you would expect. *Evil smirk* **

**Note: This chapter is pretty crazy, bordering on a crackfic. You have been warned. **

**. . .**

When the pastor finally finishes the vows, Elsword and Aisha share a modest kiss, visibly disappointing the crowd. The two know better than to try something intense, they'd be kidded about it the rest of their lives . . . maybe longer.

. . .

The wedding party then moves to the reception room, and is greeted by a cake bigger than Banthus. It's a huge, white, with large red candles, and the 12 foot monstrosity that takes up half the room. Aisha glares up at it suspiciously while William snickers in a corner.

When the cake is about to be cut, the phoru takes a remote control from his suit pocket and slams the big red button down. Chaos ensues.

One of Wally's old robots erupts from the cake, splattering it on everyone within twenty feet of it. And Banthus, who just rented a suit for this occasion, ends up to eyeballs in the dessert. This, understandably, does not make him particularly happy.

While the bandit dispatches the robot*, Aisha, who's equally upset at having her wedding crashed and dress ruined, pretty much goes super saiyan.

We're going to be wiping phoru off the walls with a squeegee.

"Uh, s-s-sorry?" from the look in her eyes, I'd say it's a little too late for that.

"You asked this, phoru." William closes his eyes, whispering a quick prayer before his imminent demise.

SPLAT!

**. . .**

The phoru opens his eyes, surprised he still has eyes to open*. Aisha grins down evilly at him, though it's hard to tell with all this cake on face. He can see Aisha open her mouth to (probably) call "food fight", when a sizzling can be heard.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz . . .

"I forgot to tell you about the dynamite, didn't I?"

Oh, dear.

**_KaPOW!_**

Even more cake goes flying. Then fire breaks out . . . In a nutshell, this wedding goes to hell in a handbasket.

**. . .**

Off in Henir's Time and Space (where it's safe), Glaive looks at this madness, laughs, and thinks of adding to it.

**. . .**

A wild monkey king appears! He uses _stamp attack _on the fire/innocent bystanders. It's super effective!

**. . .**

After both thanking and sending the overgrown animal away, the wedding goes back to "normal". Whatever that is.

The day ends with the bouquet tossing. Eve catches it, then asks an embarrassed Chung what it was all about. The two eventually wander off (under the guise of watching the sunset) as the rest of the party disperses.

What really surprised everyone today was that Banthus pretty much behaved himself. Does this mean trouble? You bet your boots it does.

**. . .**

**It's really no more than a two-bit rust bucket that should be condemned.* **

**Did you honestly think I would be so cruel as to knock of William? This is COMEDY! (Or Sparta, whichever you prefer.)***

**. . .**

**I'm afraid I'll be taking a week or so off this story since I'm going to be busy soon. When I'm don e being busy, I'm going to be hauled off to a place with no working internet. **

**-Edit**

**Gah! Typos everywhere! *Types madly***


	3. New Life Worries

**IdonotownElswordoranyofitscharactersinanyway,shape ,orform. Please look below before continuing on to the story, thank you.**

**Note: I would like to sincerely apologize for waiting so long to update. *Hangs head* there is no excuse. At all. In the least. Lock me up and throw away the key . . . Thanks for reading, you may now continue on *kowtows*.**

**. . . Three Months Later . . .**

El, stratches his head nervously. Aisha's been acting funny lately. Even for Aisha. She'd been getting dizzy a lot, and starting to work up quite an appetite-for things loaded with sugar. Anything else she'd flat-out refuse. _And_ he'd caught her leaning over the sink on more than one occation. She'd washed out whatever was in there before he could see, but he could tell what she'd been doing by the drained look on her face . . . amoung other things.

Something bad was happening to his wife, and really, it was scaring El. Badly.

**. . .**

"Aisha?"

"Yeah, El?" Ashia's smile strains, then disappears when she sees her husband tower above her.

Elsword looks his wife straight in the eye, trying to look as imposing as possible*. But it's a hard act to keep up, and with Aisha looking up at him like that, in an _apron _of all things. Honestly, back in the old days that look meant she was about to rip his head off. That's another thing that scares him to pieces . . .

The swordsman shakes his head, the **reason** he's doing this is because he's scared. Not of her, but for her.

"You. Me. Doctor. Go. Now. No complaints." He takes Aisha by the hand and stalks out the door before she can even give a peep.

**. . .**

The half the nursing staff runs outdoors when they hear a commotion on their front lawn.

"I'M FINE YOU TWO-BIT KNUCKLEHEAD!"

"FINE, **HA**! FINE ISN'T CRYING SPELLS AND EMERGENCEY TRIPS TO THE BATHROOM! FINE ISN'T AVOIDING EVERY FOOD ON THE MENUE EXCEPT THE ONES HYPED UP ON SUGAR!"

The brawnier part of the nursing staff eventually takes over, separating the two combatants. A doctor arrives on the scene, looking more than a little annoyed at having his patience listen to this uproar. He looks down his nose at the two*, sets his jaw, and growls two sentences which makes their hearts leap.

"You're wife is pregnant, obviously. Come inside, and _be quiet about it_."

Of course, the Rune Slayer doesn't come inside. He _runs _inside, dragging Aisha, who went into shock upon hearing the "P" word. The nursing staff just goes back to business, used to Elsword's antics.

**. . .**

With the number of a good obstetrician clutched firmly in hand, El sits in the living room, fully amazed. He's going. To. Be. A. Fa-th-er. The word sounds almost as good as "husband" in his mind. Amidst a jumble of things, a few bits stand out in the swordsman's mind.

_In six or seven months, there's going to be someone out there with MY genes in them. _

_I'll be answering to "dad" from now on. _

_I'm cooked when the kid asks where rain comes from. _

Aisha's mind is also far from blank, though her thoughts aren't quite so hopeful.

_We're going to have to go on more quests, which'll be hard with me out of the game. We'll need the money, but more dungeons don't help El's chance of getting killed. Especially if he's running on lack of sleep._

_Being a mother ain't easy, and we're awfully young, can we handle this responsibility?_

_At least I know the answer to "Mommy, where does rain come from?". _

The couple stays silent for the next few hours, mulling things over. Both look as if they're ready to explode, but refuse to talk things over. Even three months after the wedding, they both firmly believe the other is a tower of strength and incapable of being nervous. I mean, come on, it's practically irrational to be nervous about one little baby. For Pete's sake, they're born every day!

**. . .**

In bed that night, the two finally _do _explode.

"Where the blasted heck does rain come from?! I hardly know half the time, and I'm expected to explain it to a kid?! Why don't they make it a law you have to get a degree in meteorology before you become a parent?!"

"HA! That's all that worries you?! What about food, clothing, shelter?! ALL THIS COSTS MONEY WE DON'T HAVE."

"Whataya mean "shelter"?! Isn't this house big enough?!"

"We're going to need extensions for it some time, unless you want the kid to sleep in our room for the next 18-20 years!"

Elsword shivers, taking no heart in the fact he was out on his own by 13, and a registered wanderer by 10.

"And what happens if you get killed, eh? I'm not going to be around your lousy back for quite awhile, and kid or no kid, we need to eat. I'm worried. About me, and the future . . . a future without you."

The Rune Slayer doesn't quite know what to say about this. He stares at Aisha. Aisha stares at him. They turn off the lights and go to bed without another word. But Elsword stays awake thinking.

In all honesty, the Rune Slayer had never really thought about death. Even less now that they'd saved the El. No one would die without him around, and he could go on adventuring as much as he pleased. Things are different now. He's got a family, and that's a heckofa lotta responsibility. It's not even a question of if he's ready for this or not anymore. He's out of control and in for one roller coaster ride after another. Period. End of story . . .

But he can do it, it's . . . it's another adventure. Admittedly, it'll last a little longer then any of the others he's gone on, but it's as simple as 1, 2, 3: He and Aisha'll survive. They've got help-their friends, for one. Heck, most of their world is forever indebted to them; there's gotta be a babysitter in there that would work cheap!

The Rune Slayer gives a wry smile, closing his eyes, hugs his wife (who's pretending to be asleep), and whispers three words in her ear. Three words every woman wants to hear. Three words that Aisha **really **needs right now:

"I. Love you."

**. . .**

**This is not particularly hard since our Rune Slayer is probably a good five inches taller than her by now. ***

**Yeah . . . that's pretty much a miracle since they're both at least two inches taller than him. ****

**Note 1: This is the last of the series, since if I added anything else it would be about having kids, not marriage. This entitled "Married Life Terrors". Now, you could easily fit having a baby in that category, but somehow it just feels that should have it's own separate story. **

**Note 2: If I DO ever write part three of this, it won't be for a while, so please, don't hold your breath. I would hate to have anyone end up dead on my account.**

**Thanks for sticking with this for so long. Your nice comments have been appreciated, ideas hilarious and helpful, and you've helped me fix the more glaring errors. Because of this, I would just like to say, for the fiftieth time: Thank you, thank you very much.**

**. . .**

**-Omake:**

Somewhere in Henir's Time and Space, Banthus lies unconscious. Glaive smirks, stretches, and heads for bed. The man supposes he's a bit more of a romantic that he'd like to admit. The proof being an unfomfortably large blood splatter under El and Aisha's window. Banthus won't be trying to inturrupt anyone for a while.


End file.
